last post before wedding

ok, this is beginning to sound like am liveblogging my own marriage but whatever. anyways with the year ending i have to try to steal moments to keep a tab at things on the work side and it does not hurt that i get to share and pour things out here.
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brace yourselves. ladies and gents, as of one hour ago i am a married man -at least legally and theologically speaking. yes, we decided to separate the nikah from the ceremony. it was the first time i was attending a nikah -the ceremony that sanctifies the marriage in the presence of witnesses and the bride and groom’s representatives and with the blessings of a mullah- and it did not help that it was my own. cold turkey. we ought to embrace the habit of rehearsing for these momentous occasions. it was long, long, long. on both sides we are blessed with ample number of people who are endowed with 1. a gift for words and 2. a love for the sound of their own voices. of course the fact that this was not a marriage within the family or extended family or extended, extended family or even the same ethnicity, did not make matters shorter. but who am i to grumble about that? i would have gladly sat through an entire week of vogon poetry.
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s was wearing a ravishing green dress -green is customary for nikah. afterwards, we had our first sanctified kiss. no, there were no witnesses for that part.
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apparently, at the moment of my nikah i am cleansed of all my sins hithertofore. reminds me of that scene in o brother where art thou where delmar has been baptised and cleansed and proclaims: ‘c’mon in boys, the water is fine!’ seriously though, i like this philosophy -of new beginnings and second chances. we all need them, and it is good to be reminded from time to time that one can always forgive oneself and be forgiven in the eyes of god and to have a clean slate.
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also apparently now that i am cleansed of all my sins, my prayers stand a good chance of acceptance. so here is a prayer for all of us as a pained, misunderstood, but deeply and inherently good species. and a prayer for you. yes, you.
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hatif said that life has a way of extracting laughter mixed with tears, and besides the many other things that would fall under that category in this specific occasion, it is the tragedy that has befallen a close and dear friend’s family who, ironically, until two days ago was all embroiled in making sure that this glittermania and flowerfest goes well. a good friend to both s and i, and one whose absence will be felt. we went there yesterday and it was one of the most difficult conversations ever. i have been there. i know how awkward, difficult and painful it can be. especially when we were at a point of no return in terms of planning and what not with regards to our wedding.
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friends have been a godsend with the planning. some reading this know that this is the 3rd time around we have dared to plan this and as the occasion has drawn closer the anxiety has built up thus that we have had to postpone. a few more hours though, and it will be all over. a new beginning. i look forward to tonight. with a mix of trepidation and excitement, anxiety and longing. nothing like i have experienced to date. not even the board exams.
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now i will go back and get all tuxed up and pick s from the beauty parlor.
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there are those who should have been there tonight and who will not, she at whose mere thought my heart will begin to tighten and my throat harden and my eyes water. she who, of all people, most deserved to live and see this. she who teased me so much about this when i was young and painfully shy at the thought of marriage. she who dreamt of holding her grandchildren and getting to name them and. ok. i can’t do this right now.
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others who have written and cannot be here. s and i will miss you.
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till later.

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~ by safrang on December 25, 2008.

6 Responses to “last post before wedding”

  1. Wish you happy life together with your wife, full of sincerity, love, happiness, amour, laugh and all good things.

  2. آقای زیرک! زندگی نو مبارک بادا! اما اگر لطف نموده و مصارف این مراسم ها را که پُشت سر گذاشته اید بنویسید ممنون میشویم. دوست دارم بدانم عروسی در هوتل انترکانتینیتل چقدر هزینه برمیدارد؟ تشکر

  3. Congratulations, and good luck writing this new chapter.

  4. congratulations!!! Tabreek tabreek tabreek bosha!!! Many wishes of happiness, joy and love for you and your wife.

  5. Javed Jan,
    again congratulationssssssss!!! I finally got a bit time to have a look at your posts. I wish I was there, but honestly I felt myself there as I was reading through the posts. I feel quite happy now that every thing went very well, finally.

  6. awwwwwwww:) A very belated: congratulations!!!!!!!!!:)wonderfully sweet post!may God shower your marriage with love and happiness:)!

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