janey -who always leaves interesting and occasionally too interesting comments on this blog- has called me a yuppie for owning an iphone. which is great; because it just gives me just the right pretext to do what i like best: talk about myself -which is, in itself, a hallmark of yuppie-hood and yuppie-dom.

but first, let’s evaluate what colbert would call the *truthiness* of this allegation.

according to the urban dictionary, there are 7 related definitions for ‘yuppie’:

1. yuppie
Informal for (y)oung (U)rban (P)rofessional, or Yup. turned into yuppie in the 1980’s. A term used to describe someone who is young, possibly just out of college, and who has a high-paying job and an affluent lifestyle. Can now be used to describe any rich person who is not modest about their financial status. Yuppiedom (yuppie-dum)is a term used to describe an involvement in being a yuppie.

yuppie images
bale yuppie
Christian Bale portraying a yuppie in American Psycho (btw. a movie to enjoy)

2. yuppie
A very arrogant well put together young urban professional who you more than likely will find wearing gucci and prada with a large bank account which they love to brag about. You can find them drinking Starbucks, living in a one bedroom apartment in a city where they will pay 1000-2000 a month for and spending another 3000 a month on their credit cards. They brag about their designer clothes and love to flaunt them , as well as their wealth. They look down upon anyone who isnt as wealthy or high status as they are. Men are likely to be found wearing designer suits, gucci preferably with slicked back or well cut hair. The women will be wearing prada/gucci and fendi. The most arrogant concieted fucks on the planet.

Most of the characters in American Psycho

3. yuppie
derived from Young Upcoming Professional, or YUP –> “yuppie” became the natural colloquialisation. Derogatory 80s term to describe a ‘new breed’ of young, wealthy people, typically successful in business and not afraid to flaunt it in a fashion which particularly irritates non-yuppies.

All people with mobile/cell phones used to get tagged with ‘yuppie’; the neo-yuppie is one who thinks they are above mobile phones and thus more infuriating in today’s social climate than le olde yuppie from the 80s.

4. yuppie
Usually a metrosexual- one who shops at stores named after people ie: Calvin Klein, Kenneth Cole, Ralph Lauren, Or Tommy Hilfiger. In addition, this person drives a nice car, most likely a BMW, and drinks large amounts of starbucks.

There is no way I am going into the AA meeting, I’ll be the only yuppie there!

5. yuppie
Noun: A person who believes that they deserve their high pay much more than anyone else who works just as hard as they do. They have a lot of shiny objects and generally look down upon those who do not have shiny objects, or those with less shiny objects.

Yuppies will move into an area that was once affordable in the city, but they got wind that it was “hip” to live in Wicker Park, or SoHo, or the Teapot District, so they gentrify it.

Gentrify means to make unaffordable for anyone but yuppies.

I have to live in a high crime area and drive a 1983 Celebrity, cuz the yuppies moved into all the good cheap places.

$1000 a month for one room in a hellhole, and the yuppies make fun of my car.

7. yuppie
Term coined in the 80s, describing a certain demographic of Young Updwardly-mobile Professional as found in cities and fast-paced business environments.

Yuppies differ from your bog-standard “business man” due to their relatively young age, their blatant arrogance, bloody-minded ambition and the fact that they care more about their work and making money, than the fact that everyone thinks they are a complete twat.

Any of the characters in American Psycho

7. Yuppie
Acronym for Young Urban Professional. Group whose culture blends the hippie/counterculture values of the 60s and the materialistic monetary-based values of the 80s. Usually congregate in Starbuck’s, Whole Foods, Trader Joe’s, and a wide variety of vintage clothing boutiques. Includes both moderate Liberals (Majority of yuppies), and moderate Conservatives (smaller group of yuppies), although both the far left and the far right enjoy dissing them.

far left dude: I hate these damn yuppies! They claim to be “artists” and “bohemians”, yet their materialistic pursuits embody the very antithesis of the counterculture, and price real “artists” like me out of the neighborhoods they move to!

far right dude: I hate these damn yuppies. I can’t stand they flaunt their metrosexuality with their designer labels, lattes, luxury cars, and globally conscious health food stores. It’s european-wannabe wimps like them that corrupt America!


young? check
just out of college? check
metrosexual? check (with a weakness for studded cufflinks and silk ties)
high paying job? check
bloody-minded ambition?
good haircut?
claiming to be ‘artist’ and ‘bohemian’?
check, check, check.

complete twat?
the most arrogant concieted fucks on the planet?
really? is that what everyone thinks of yuppies?

all things considered, i guess with the addition of iphone into my accessories janey has some reason to accuse me of yuppiedom, but i would also submit that there are certain other attributes of the species that for better or worse, i simply lack. such as a blatant kind of self-assuredness and over-confidence. peer deeper and beyond the hand-stitched business suit and you will see in me a person of many insecurities and self-doubts and mood swings, and unlike what is presented of yuppies in any of the above defintions, with a deep concern about what others think. in that particular sense, i wish i could get to a point where i would be more of a yuppie and give less of a fuck about what everyone else thinks. i guess living here one would have to wait for a bit until the times change. also, kabul has yet to get its sohos and wicker parks, and leaving life with family in favor of a single-bedroom apartment in the newly built ‘golden township’ is simply unfeasible right now…


~ by safrang on July 19, 2008.

One Response to “yuppie”

  1. That post was 15 paragraphs too long.

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