Wish I Could Read Siddhartha Again, In 10 Minutes.

It is most unusual that I should find these scribbles on a night like tonight of all nights.

“Everything is good,
Everything is beautiful,
Everything is to be loved.”

I found this written in fading pencil notes inside the back flip of Hermann Hesse’s book Siddhartha. I had written these words, along with the following, after reading the book in the summer of 2003:

“One of the best books I ever read… makes you feel good and happy.”

Feeling Good, and Happy.
I need a little of that right now. badly. really badly. Although No way I am going to reread Siddhartha now.

**
On a related note…

I feel so utterly helpless in communicating with a certain group of people whom fate has given a particular amount of say in my life. I wish them well, and I wish them longevity and prosperity. But I also wish them the wisdom to not try to live out their own lives through mine. And to treat me as a status symbol, and a commodity to be put on display and compared with assorted other schooled sons and daughters of proud families.

I just want to live the anguished, slothful, unconventional, and underground life of a spiteful and misunderstood -and hence good and necessarily unsuccessful- writer (ok, an aspiring one) in its requisite solitude.

Too much to ask?

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~ by safrang on May 7, 2007.

4 Responses to “Wish I Could Read Siddhartha Again, In 10 Minutes.”

  1. “I spoke to my counselor and she said that I can get into a better school if I have ‘real-life’ experience. She also said that I would do better in school if I took A LITTLE time off.”

    They want the rest of the world to recognize how awesome you are (don’t all parents?) but I also think a large part of their motivation is, “Let me get him on track as quickly as possible.” My parents now are much more laid back as I am approaching 30. They’re still tough and lecture my baby brother (10 years younger) though. I get the feeling that they just want to make sure they’ve done their jobs as parents. It isn’t much consolation, since what they consider a ‘well-rounded’ adult is not what you want in life. But keep plugging away and remember, they’re doing the best they can too. And that excuse up there really did work well for me.

    Also, thank you for your kind words. I am trying to re-focus and trying to start studying again.

    Oh, and dude? ANOTHER BLOG? LOL

  2. […] your at it, do stop by Hamesha’s blog, and give him a kind word or two of support. Family’s and acquaintances can be a bitch […]

  3. Hearty thanks HiK and Ronin. You are such good cyber-shoulders to lean on.

    Good news is, at the end of the day the stubborn person I am I can only have it my way. But the heartache and anguish of it till then is kinda irritating… well… I know, I know… parents are parents and they want the best and all that… as my little brother also keeps reminding me and I figure I shall be more understanding and happy for it all some day…

    but now, I feel like this literary magazine cover:

  4. ahahaah.

    I feel ya – Afghan parents have a special way that merges ‘pride’ ‘gelah’ and oh, I don’t know, ‘incessant nagging?’ DON’T tell my parents I said that.

    Seriously though, use my excuse – it works!

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